yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
