every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My vagina is officially offended.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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