She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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