Can i not drive my cunt home
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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