All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
