I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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