wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
