if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
