You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
