Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
