You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize