I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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