You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
