ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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