I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
