did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize