Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
