I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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