Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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