soooo we both peed the bed last night...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
