Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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