I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
