your thong is hanging out like whoa
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
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