I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize