It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
