I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He passed out mid-signature
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
