Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
