also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Randomize
