This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
