Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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