Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I have fence marks all over my body
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
These tits shall not be calmed
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
