your parents love me but you hate me
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
