You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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