8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
