I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
