dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
