Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
