Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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