"it" just moved
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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