Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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