This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
