jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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