I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
