Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
