I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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