im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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