My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
