Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
