i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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