Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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