why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
