so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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