In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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