Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize