And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
