I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
