So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
