I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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