i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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