don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
