Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
