I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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