Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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