i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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