I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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