Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
