pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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