I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
