I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
